Share Your Experiences…with the World

A Southern Girl’s Reality

I know that most of these will have readers thinking a little about their behavior. These are based on my experiences growing up in the Heart of Dixie.
Lindsay Mulder

1. Fat kids are only cute if they belong to someone else.
2. Just because people don’t say that your children aren’t hideous doesn’t mean that they aren’t. Stop finding modeling agencies for your ugly kids.
3. A politician’s wife supports him. She knows she’ll live in infamy for being married to an alpha male.
4. You are only special to your family and friends.
5. A hundred years after your death, nobody will care that you existed.
6. Regardless of what they say, people don’t like hearing stories about your dog.
7. If you are a woman and you join a predominantly male company, don’t whine when they won’t include you in their conversations.
8. Women that file lawsuits because a man looked at them too long need to be fired for being too sensitive. Our husbands may work there. You make them uncomfortable.
9. If you go out in a short skirt, halter- top and high heels, you WILL be looked at. Stop whining.
10. If you don’t want to run the risk of being groped, think twice before heading out to a bar in the middle of the night and getting plastered (more…)

    Posted in Awkward Experiences, Funny Experiences, Life Experiences, Relationship Experiences | 2 Comments »

The End of an Era

It’s been 9 days, 16 hours and 12 minutes since she took her last breath. I had a thought in the back of my head once we took her off life support, that my mom would just come back. She’d wake up and say “what are you guys doing here wasting your time, the gutters need to be cleaned”. We’d all laugh, tell mom we knew she would make it and joke how she really scared us while we drank coffee. She’d complain that her throat hurts and we’d never tell her about all the tubes she had in (knowing she’d be pissed about that.)

But that’s not how it happened. When they took the tubes out, I stood on the outside of the curtain. I didn’t want to miss a thing. I needed to be there for everything. I heard some horrible noise of choking and gargling that I’ll never get out of my head. Then the nurse rushed out from behind the curtain, told me to get the rest of the family, it’s not looking to great. I ran to the waiting room, and as I opened the door, my sister was there. You could see the tears filling up in her eyes as I yelled “everyone needs to come, the nurse said we should all go in as soon as possible”.

Everyone rushed in to hold mom’s hand or foot or anything they could hold on to. The look on my dad’s face is the one thing that would make me break. I could barely hold my body up. It’s heart breaking to see that look, and wonder if he’s thinking about their first kiss, their wedding day or even each one of their babies coming into the world.

We all stood there crying, turning red and gasping for tissues, sleeves or each other. My mom was free of all tubes except her IV. They kept that in as they gave her shots of Morphine for any pain. Her breathing was all over the place and it was almost like a heavy snore. The nurses would come in and suction her mouth out. It was horrible to see your mom or ANYONE for that matter, so incapacitated.

For the first 2 hours, we all sat in the room, unbearable as the noise and thought of losing our mother was it was harder to not be in the room. We all wanted to be there. Maybe we all thought there was a chance she would come back, or we all just wanted her to know she had a very special place in our hearts and we loved her deeply.

After the first 2 hours, we took turns having a few in the room at a time. After 5pm, Lauren came so I had some company. Lauren coming gave me some break. We talked, watched some TV & played with silly puddy. Most of the guests left around 10pm. I went in with mom around 11pm and sat with her (as did Denise). Dad had left around 11:30pm & so did Brian. I came out of the room around 11:45pm to see if any of my other brothers wanted to leave… Mom was hanging on strong (at least that’s what I thought). Shortly after, my sister came out b/c the nurses were planning to turn mom. Not long, did a nurse come out and tell us our mom was very close to passing. Frantically we rushed in. I tried to call Dad on his cell and Doryan called the house. Dad JUST got home and was coming back to the hospital bringing Damien (dawn wasn’t able to go through it).

I wonder if my mom knew we were all there in the final 30 minutes. It was the HARDEST thing I ever had to endure. Watching her heart beat go from 150 (which is pretty high) all day drop to 120, 110, 100, 90, 80 and then hit 50… I quietly pleaded with my mom to wait for dad to get there so he could be with her too, and her heart beat went up to 100. I took that as my sign that mom knew I was there and wanted dad to be there. Five minutes later, Dad, Doryan and Damien walk in. Dad goes to mom left hand side and holds her hand. My mom is turning a shade darker and you could tell it was coming. The breathing came much more shallow. The sadness in the room was over bearing. Her heart beat drops slowly and I prayed for it to either happen faster or for it to turn back. It slowly went down to 20, and then she stopped breathing but her heart beat continued. We watched the monitor and everything hit 0 and blanked. I gasped. Yes, I gasped just like on TV. I gasped and sobbed. Mom had passed. My heart sank so low I could have died a long with her. Maybe a piece of me has. The nurses came, shut everything off. We all said the very last word “I love you” and walked out. I sat in the room for another 2 minutes talking to my mom, kissing her forehead and telling her that she would be always be in my heart. Everyone already walked to the waiting room, I followed behind.

It was 12:44am when mom passed. We sat in the waiting room for 15 minutes waiting for the head nurse to come talk to dad. Once the nurse came in she went over logistics for my mothers body to be transferred; basically giving him the “rules”. She asked if anyone wanted the flowers. No one did. Those flowers represented the days we spent in her room, hoping and praying for her to come back. I couldn’t bare to have them in my apartment. The nurse also asked if anyone wanted to go in one more time to see her. I needed to. I needed to know that this wasn’t a joke, that is was over and my mom had left me. I needed to see her, to tell her I loved her for that one last time.

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A Missed Opportunity

Olympia, Washington
August, 1992

I remember the first time I saw a dead body. It’s burned into my memory forever, I think.

I was walking with my best friend Adam to the local quickie mart. We were eleven years old and the summer was filled with scouring for loose change under sofa cushions and taking our findings to the store to buy candy. On this particular day we were approached by a homeless man before we made it halfway to the store. He was dirty, old, and close enough to death that we could almost see his soul departing his body. His cheeks were sunken, his eyes were wide and empty saucers, and his lips were the cool blue color of the summer sky.

“Spare any change?” he barely croaked through toothless gums and cracked lips. I put my hand to the front pocket of my jeans and felt the few quarters, dimes, and nickels that were soon to be exchanged for lollipops, Hershey bars, and a can of Coke. My heart caught in my throat.

I’m not a bad person. I swear I’m not. Most days I would have given the guy all the change I had… But whether it was because I was hungry for sugar or that the man looked like no amount of change would ever turn his luck, I said, “No. Sorry.” And Adam and I walked on.

We got our candy. We got our Coke. We were happy about this.

On the way back home, was saw two police cars with their flashers on and a strip of yellow tape hung between a few trees on the side of the road. We approached cautiously, each of us already knowing what had happened.

In the space of time after we left the man and when we had returned, he had died in the ditch, someone had called the cops, and they were now taking pictures of his body.

We saw him lying face down in the scotch broom and ferns. He was only slightly less alive than when we had seen him before, and one-hundred percent gone.

I’ve never felt so guilty over anything in my life. Even though I know it wouldn’t have helped him survive another day, my giving him all the change I had (a measly dollar something) might have given him some hope at least.

I still lie awake nights and think of him. His black eyes and blue lips will haunt me forever, I think.

Peter

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