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10. In reality you don’t succeed in life just because you are good looking and easy to get along with. Oh, wait, maybe that should be changed to “you don’t always succeed…”

9. In reality, women have a lot more unwanted body hair after being stranded in a jungle for 42 days.

8. You can go ahead and pretend you don’t fart in public, poop your pants, or talk to people with a booger hanging out of your nose – but in reality, this has probably happened to you.

7. In reality (unlike books, movies and television) people do lots of ordinary, meaningless things that don’t move the story along.

6. The only time it’s cool to wear a small square of fabric in 15 different ways in reality is if you have a job modelling ‘The Wonder Scarf’ on the shopping channel.
5. Cameras would never follow non-famous people around everywhere. In fact, even famous people rarely do anything exciting when cameras follow them around. This is probably the best evidence that what happens on ‘reality television’ isn’t real (or the show would be super boring).

4. On reality television people around you say “he’s good at playing the game” when you lie to them, connive, and make secret alliances to get what you want; but in reality, people would call you a dishonest, two-faced jerk and they’d ask, “Who does he think he is, J.R. Ewing? That may fly on TV but in real life he is probably going to get his butt kicked at some point.”

3. In the real world your employers don’t encourage you to sleep with colleagues while they film you (unless you work in the porn industry, of course).

2. In reality, if a crew of invisible (“off camera”) people are encouraging your behavior or giving you directions, you probably should tell your doctor.

1. In reality, something isn’t real just because you call it real. For example, if I pointed to a potato and said, “That’s a real television,” you wouldn’t believe me. However, if I’m in TV land and I call my TV show “reality television”, it seems like a lot of people actually believe it is real.

Written by Tanya, I Should Be Napping

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At his annual meeting last year, Riley was still commando crawling on his belly, and was not even able to crawl on all fours. I remember having a conversation with all of his therapists about whether or not he would ever be able to walk independently, and when they thought that might be. I burst into tears because I was so afraid that he was going to start to become aware that he was missing out on things when he saw his twin brother, Ross, begin to walk.  I asked if he could try out using a walker and in January of this year, he started to use a walker for the first time.  Then,  there was a huge miracle in May, when he took his first steps all on his own. Now, in October, Riley walks completely indpendently, although he does have a slightly altered gait due to his CP. He still wears braces on his legs and probably will for some time. His balance is still not great and he falls often. He has a ways to go with managing steps on his own, running, jumping, etc., but, he is a million miles away from the little boy who made me wonder if he would ever walk on his own.

Riley’s language skills are right on target for his age. He says about 100 different words and he is now starting to use 2 and 3 words together once in a while. He is having a little bit of trouble pronouncing certain sounds and his speech therapist and I both believe that his CP is making it harder for him to move his mouth in certain ways, so he will still have speech therapy to address that. His fine motor skills are coming along beautifully, although he still has needs related to his CP that he will continue to address in OT.

This past year has truly been incredible for Riley, and while he does still have some challenges to face as a result of his CP, for today, I am basking in the glow of hearing “he no longer has any delays.”

Melissa Ringold

Winning entry for October! Thanks, Melissa for submitting your parenting experience to From My Experience.

No children were ever more loved even if we lived in tents, we are here for special reasons it is life lessons grandmother teaches. We are here for a gather kin are coming who were scattered,grandmother walks away to a small hill this time I can not follow.

I hear her voice raised in prayer singing softly very old words,even the heart and spirit of a child of four understands this is sacred.

Suddenly all is chaos everyone is running lights are shining in our eyes,a white man in uniform demanding to see everything in our camp.

Someone he said reported wild parties, drugs, and drinking, instead he found us a simple extended family here to learn from the Water. Grandmother stood proudly before this man who sneered at her,head held high she told him we are here for connections to our spirits. You will find no evil things here only love and caring, we sing and drum sending our prayers upon the wind with sage and sweet grass only. They gave us only three days then we must move on, they did not like our kind he said hanging around making messes,we made the good folks nervous.

You people need to live like humans give those children real homes, but not here in our town there are enough here on welfare already.

He could not see or understand our life was the better one, not cramped into a small house but free to share the wind and see Father Sky above us.

To this day I am thankful for the childhood grandmother gave us,we worked hard and asked no one for handouts we lived the way of our ancestors.

No,our path was not an easy one we faced many troubles,yet we lived in freedom proud of who and what we were and learning from all
spirits!

granny!

we “cry” freedom, when in truth we beg for chains