I REGRET MY BEHAVIOR…
This is the eighth month after the death of my mother-in-law.
She was a health freak and never used to eat out. I lived with her for seventeen years and never saw her missing her daily exercise routine. She was a role model for many people in the hospital where she was working as a matron. It was in 2006 that she started complaining for stomachache. I was upset with her bad health. She was diagnosed with the second degree cirrhosis of her liver. Poor lady! My husband and I took her to the best doctors in the town and started her on medication. Unfortunately, she did not respond to any of the medications as it was too late to get the damage repaired at that stage.
During this course, she became very hostile with us. She was irritated to the extent that she started calling me names. She was amused in bad mouthing me to every individual who used to come to see her. The doctor, however, explained it in another way. He was of the opinion that she is terminally ill and scared of death. Since her liver was damaged, she had all possible deficiencies in her body because of which she was not able to eat anything more than a couple of spoonful of soup and half a glass of juice for the whole day.
We were finding it difficult to adjust between our work and home life. It was very difficult for me to tolerate her bad words. In spite of supporting my husband in that critical time period, I used to criticize his mother’s behavior. He tried to make me understand several times, but my brain had a block set up there and was not ready to listen to him. This continued for all those months while her health was deteriorating. It was in the month of October that she breathed her last and finally the horrified episode of my life came to an end.
As a matter of fact, I should have had peace after this, but I am sad to loose her this way. Every now and then, I feel the loss which her death has created in my life. I go out for work and my children are alone at home. She used to be there with them when she was alive. I never realized it when she was alive. She used to take care of several things at home and I never knew many of them until the whole responsibility came on my shoulders. I regret my behavior with her. I could not understand the pain she was going through.
We tried all alternative medicines available but what can substitute love and care!
My only motive here to share my experience is that the parents can not be replaced once lost. There is no way that we can get them back. My mother used to say that parents can raise ten children but they together also can not look after their parents.
The Nature would never change its course for anyone, but we can change our nature to incorporate an element of love and care in our hearts to be given away
