As I sit behind this mindless monitor, plinking at the keys of a wireless keyboard, clicking the wireless mouse, I think to myself, “Where the hell is my office?”.

A poignant observation as the fall air chills and makes me long for the hayrides of my youth. The “cubicle” of corporate America is being corrupted by the fat-cats in power that take, and keep on taking. My office is erased by the notion of “Work at Home”, and as I get a call from my creditors in India telling me my account is past due, I think “ Geez, I’d love a job calling people telling them their bills are late”, especially the CEO’s of the banking institution because they were caught spending company funds on hookers in Costa Rica, and funneling the “business expense” through an off-shore bank account, while people trying to buy houses are unable to get quality loans because of the abuse of the past.

I think, that as the government bailed out these lenders, the lenders are holding on to the homes trying to persuade the consumer that they can’t quality, but in reality, they are holding on the homes so they (lenders) can turn the house around when the economy rebounds.(whatever that means)

The economy for me pretty much sucks, not because I lost thousands in stocks, or that even though gas prices have declined, I still can’t travel, no. The economy sucks for me because as unemployment increases, I can’t even get a job as a cashier because I’m “over-qualified”. I had to dumb-up my resume to reflect my lack of achievement, and not my achievements. I’ve had to omit degrees, experience, qualifications, and work experience to get even the most basic of employment. (As of this writing, still unsuccessful.)

The office I speak of at the beginning is the cubicle of the mind. The confines of the cubicle are a direct reflection of the aptitude and resolve of the common American. As an American, I feel (personally) that I am not too good for anything. I am willing to assume a position (sic.)that will allow me to live above the poverty level. (Apparently, 150% below the average income means)

I write, because it affords me to escape the cubicle, and allow the freedoms as Americans, have lived and died for. Basically, it’s the last place a boss can affect you work, because of it subjectivity. (Also, every once and a while, someone will pay you to do what you enjoy)

As the corporate cubicle compresses on the average soul, my office will continue to have a hand grenade on the desk, sitting on a sign that says please take a number, as a number one hangs every so gently from the pin.

Andrew Rutigliano

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Faux pas number one: trying to make my case with the boss. Past experience should have been jumping up and down on my shoulder and screaming into my ear, “Shut up, you big dummy!” But the light bulb didn’t turn on and my normally introverted self kept talking (and talking, and talking).

Faux pas number two: giving the boss’s wife the cold shoulder (who, I should mention, was the cause of my trying to make my case with the boss in the first place). Of course, when the boss’s wife turns out to have multiple personalities that would send Sybil voluntarily fleeing into the proverbial corn bin, simply ignoring her seemed the safest course of action.

Faux pas number three: not falling to my knees and begging for mercy when asked by said boss about criminal actions number one and two. Instead, I turned an interesting shade of purple while trying to suppress the mad hysterical laughter forcing its way up my throat and out of my big fat mouth.

Three strikes and you’re out. Or fired. Or let go. In other words, there goes my steady income which provided the finer things in life such as rent and food, not to mention regular manicures and eyebrow waxing.

So this is the point where most sane people would panic. Right? Well obviously I’m not sane. As I cleared my desk and gathered up my office essentials (green tea bags, flu swabs, contact lens cleaner), my thoughts were already racing ahead to my sunny future. I was on vacation! I would finally have the time to get my freelance business off the ground! My phone would be ringing off the hook with offers of employment! I could spend my days cleaning and cooking and doing laundry and being the perfect wife! See? Insanity. Instead of speeding directly to the unemployment office and securing my rightful benefits that would ensure continuing salon appointments, I instead headed directly to my local wine and spirits establishment, stocking up on my favorite Pinot Grigio. A girl’s got to celebrate, er, drown her sorrow in style, right?

Which brings us to day four of my, uh, hiatus. The Pinot Grigio bottles are empty. My house is still a mess. Clients haven’t been knocking down my door to procure my freelance services, nor have the full time employment offers been pouring in. Okay, I haven’t even been asked in for an interview. And my nails need a fill and my brows are looking a little bushy. Some vacation. I know what you’re thinking. This is the point where most insane people would panic. Well obviously I’m not your run-of-the-mill insane person.. In fact, maybe I could be a case study for a new strain of psychosis. I could get paid for being a lab specimen! Scientists will marvel over my ability to avoid the obvious – I’m unemployed, broke, and have no immediate prospects.

But while sane people might dwell on the obvious, creative lunatics such as myself concentrate on seeing the wine glass as half full – with the promise of new freelance opportunities, the promise of working for a kinder, gentler boss (minus the schizophrenic better half), and the promise that everything happens for a reason. Was I really that unhappy in my job? Probably more so than I was ready to admit. Was it really a good idea to tell my boss that maybe it was “time I moved on”? Obviously not. He took me at my word and sent me merrily on my way. Am I suffering from panic attacks at the thought that I may not have funds for the next clearance sale. Never!

My wine glass is never empty, nor is the promise of what tomorrow may bring. The world is my oyster and if there’s one thing this southern girl enjoys, it’s a nice fat steamed oyster on the half shell. Pass the hot sauce, please.

Karen Fulford

Despite the title of this post, yesterday was horrible. I’ll start at the beginning…

I was scheduled to work at eight o’clock so me and my ride went to Subway. We were there on time, but that didn’t make a difference. No one was there. It took twenty minutes for my boss to arrive. She apologized and noted that she had driven halfway here and then realized that she left the keys back home, so she had to turn around and make the trip again.

I don’t remember exactly what I was doing, but shortly after I started working my boss, who is actually the Regional Manager, came by and asked if I could watch the front while she went to the bank. Watching the front is the manager’s way of saying “If anyone comes in deal with them.” I’m not sure if I said I would or not, but every bit of me inside was screaming No! I am new. What did she expect? Yesterday was like my fifth day of work. Did she expect me to know everything by then?

Anyway, my boss left and I was at the store alone. ALONE! I admit I wasn’t too worried at first because it’s a brand new store and I didn’t think anyone really realized that it was open already. Boy, was I wrong.

Right after my boss pulled out of the parking lot it hit. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! People were coming in by the hundreds…well not really, but the way I was feeling just then, it might as well have been a hundred people. It was more like seven or eight. But still, that’s enough to send a greenhorn crazy! Honestly!

I got through the first two customers with very little trouble, but once I got to the register, WOOSH, I hadn’t a clue how to ring up what he had ordered. Luckily the customer I was helping was really nice. I told him that I was new and he was perfectly alright with that. He said “We’ve all been there before.” I got really embarrassed when I accidentally put steak on his sandwich instead of roast beef. -Well they look exactly the same! He told me that I had made a mistake, very politely, and then I fixed it. The rest of the line looked at me funny when my face turned bright red and I started apologizing. I could almost hear their thoughts as I worked my way down the counter with the sandwich. Argh!

Fortunately my boss showed up just as my register problems started happening. I was glad she had returned, but the fact that she was upset with me didn’t improve the way I was feeling. In fact it got worse. I did my best to just keep smiling and I pretended like I knew what I was doing and actually I came to realize that I knew a lot more then I thought I did.

My boss never yelled at me or wrapped her hands around my throat, but I could tell she was upset. The look on her face when I asked all those questions was one of pure acrimony. As the day trudged along, however, her mood lightened up. Soon after the rush, she was laughing and joking just as if this morning never happened. For that I was grateful.

My ride picked me up at four o’clock and we headed home. As she drove I related my awful experience of work. I also told her that despite the horrid nature of my morning, I was glad for it. Why was I glad? Because now I had something to Blog about. Isn’t that sad? My life is so utterly boring that it has to be made abhorrent in order for it to be interesting.

Anyway, about the title. My day reminded me of a quote I once read and it goes as follows: Through clever and constant application of propaganda, people can be made to see paradise as hell, and the other way round, to consider the most wretched sort of life as paradise. …Yeah, I never was a big fan of Adolf Hitler. But he is right. If a Richvillian (….I hope you don’t mind if I just start making up words for you-) were to see a pauper and how wonderful their life really was (should that be the case) then they would see their “paradise” as a sort of hell. And were the pauper to see the Richvillian’s life he may think just the opposite. Life is strange. Why is it that we always want what we don’t have?

Julia Willis

It began with a call from my boss who worked 3 floors above me in the Chase Manhattan building on Pine Street in the heart of New York’s financial district. Thinking myself the athletic sort, I took to the fire stairs taking them two at a time up to the 41st floor. Inserting my security card into the slot I was surprised when the indicator flashed red rather than the lime green I was accustomed to. Retreating to a different floor and a different card key reader produced the same result and it came to me that something was up.

I had heard stories about people getting locked in the stairways and having to descend to the sub-basement to find an open door. When they got there they were met by a phalanx of security guards who would question them intensively and then not release them until they could get someone to vouch for them. I sought an alternative.

Knocking on the door persistently finally got me readmitted to the offices of Davis, Polk, and Wardwell the 13th largest law firm in the United States. I’d been working there more or less happily for two years as a computer programmer. I was one of about a dozen propeller heads in a sea of suits and ties. I made my way upstairs (using the elevator this time) to face what I now figured couldn’t be good. As I proceeded to my meeting all of my security privileges were canceled and my computer accounts were locked. I was, of course, fired but my boss could not really explain why. Just three months before I had received a stellar performance review but management had soured on me in the interim. Oddly, I was not immediately escorted from the building by armed security personnel but given three months at full salary to arrange my affairs. It was the best thing to ever happen to me.

When my wife Lenore and I first began dating we would often discuss things that we would do if we had the time. Back in the early seventies she had taken a trip through Europe and Israel doing the obligatory time as a kibbutz volunteer. She extolled the virtues to my often skeptical ears. Here was a chance, though, to see what she was talking about. Lenore was working as a special education teacher in an upper east side school and had her summers off and, having conveniently gotten laid off in May, she convinced me to postpone my job search until the Fall. Read the rest of this entry

From my experience a great office prank involved aluminum foil. A friend’s office was covered in foil and believe it or not after we took it out of the oven it was gooey on the inside and crisp on the outside.

Anyone else have experiences “decorating” an office as a joke. Post some pics on this site and lets see how creative you can be and how annoyed you can make a co-worker.

click for larger image	click for larger image

I don’t know what it is about the simple act of changing a calendar year, but New Year’s Day is always a time of resolutions and renewal in our home.  We take this chance to start fresh and change things which we have not been happy with the previous year.  While some things cannot be changed, such as medical issues and the nagging car repairs that come at the most inopportune time, there are many things about our lives which we can change when we set our minds to the task.  The first tradition we have at our home is that of buying a wonderful and decorative calendar to hang on our wall.  Sometimes we are given one for the holidays, other times we purchase our own.  Every New Year’s Day I remove our old calendar and hang our new one.  In the process, I first copy over any important family dates such as birthdays or anniversaries which I need to remember throughout the New Year.  Many people set out to celebrate New Year’s Day by making resolutions which they really don’t have any real desire to fight to keep going throughout the year.  If you have ever been in a health club or gym in January, then you know how many people can be there that you will never see again come February.  It would be almost funny, if it wasn’t so sad.  

The key to making your New Year’s resolutions and having them become reality in your life is to start small and really dedicate yourself to what you want to change in your life.  If you are overweight, or even simply want to get into better shape, start with eating better and walking around your own neighborhood before you shell out the big money for a membership to a gym.  Another good way to spend your New Years Day is to take the opportunity of the New Year to clean out and purge your living quarters.  It is very common to bring home your gifts from holiday celebrations and then have no where to put them.  By doing some much needed de-cluttering and purging you can have space for all of your new treasures and make some nice donations of your unused items as well.  Two of the best places to get rid of your unwanted items are through your local thrift store or freecycle.org.  Thrift stores will generally take just about anything which they can re-sell to others.  With freecycle.org you send out an e-mail to your local area and the person interested in what you have to offer will come pick-up your unwanted items.  Both your thrift store and freecycle.org are good ways to keep your unwanted items out of the landfill.

In our home, we spend New Years Day first transferring the calendar, and then we move into the kitchen where we go through all of our cabinets and take a good inventory of what is in each of them.  For things we have a lot of, we make an effort to use some of it up in the next few months.  For things we will need to purchase we put them on our master shopping list.  While we are in the kitchen we also try to find items which make good donations to our local food pantry.  For instance, if I have been getting great buys on soup and have 30 cans of it, I will usually give half to our local food pantry and keep the rest to cover us for the rest of winter.    On addition to some of the suggestions above, it is always a good idea to look at the New Year as a time of renewal and a time when you can make changes to your life.  However, rather than having lofty resolutions which you cannot keep, start small and make goals to change things over the next year or even longer.  By making realistic goals you can change the things in your life that you choose to.  

Katrina Lorin is a writer for UniformHaven.com which offers dickies scrubs, dickies scrubs discount and lab coats as well as a host of other products.

Life might get a little bit nuts these times, yet you do not have to be concerned about stuff hardly as much if you consider methods to guard yourself. One of the things you have to know is that with the current security systems you’ll definitely have substantial protections against thieves. These systems are utilized today by both private homes and companies in order to end vandals, thieves as well as other thieves from going where they need to not go. When you’ve got committed to a cutting-edge security system, you know you’re going to get the perfect results, yet what’s positively remarkable is that you could do this devoid of shelling out as much as you may think. This is the innovation that is taking place in protection today.

After you begin to look at things, you’re going to note that it’s really easier to have good results for yourself rather than merely take things for the way they are. With all the appropriate security systems set up, complete parts of a town or perhaps city have been made significantly more secure. Start by making good choices, it’s much simpler to get the very best for yourself. With all the greatest technology helping you, it is simple to succeed at securing a house or even business. A great security system makes a strong difference in how you feel regarding your own security, as well. For any residence, it is about shielding your loved ones as well as for a business, it’s about protecting your people.

Obviously, it’s surveillance that gives you the perfect kind of safety. With security camera systems being in place, not only could you dissuade lots of people from going into, you’ve got evidence of any offense your camera views. This is outstanding and a large change for us all. Having a security camera system, you never ought to wonder so you have something to present the authorities. Even past that, you have evidence for court.

You have to know that it’s now much more affordable to have these systems. With security camera systems coming down in cost because of computers getting more affordable, it will likely be easier to acquire what you need. You’ll count on this to make your security significantly less costly. You can use a security camera system to completely make the most of your daily life and give yourself serious gains. That is most certainly a great thing that you’ll be happy with.

In the long run, you are the one which needs to be aware of your home or company. The police are only able to present so much protection. Doing what you can is where the true gains are. That will give you a distinct advantage should something unsavory happen.

Quit procrastinating! You probably have thought about methods to boost your laptop Net safety, but for a person good reason or an additional have stored placing it off. Time to get considerable and get some affirmative action. These six ways are just that which you have to get started.

Step 1: Discover Probable Threats

In buy to produce an effective strategy of action, it is necessary the you determine likely threats. This involves not merely approaches that your confidential information and facts on your personal computer may be accessed illegally without having your information, but also in which the threats may perhaps come from. Normally we believe from the nameless hackers lurking in cyberspace just waiting for the chance to invade our computer system and produce havoc. When this may be the most common danger, there’s also extra intimate individuals all-around you this sort of as casual good friends, small business associates, pals of pals, or maybe associates of family members, who if presented the opportunity could acquire accessibility in your laptop or computer and acquire some confidential details these as checking account numbers, bank card information, and also other personal data. The point here is you need to take measures to make sure computer protection from probable threats both equally inside of your sphere of affect too as past.

Phase two: Laptop Lock Down

One from the least complicated steps, as well as the most ignored by most consumers, would be to just lock the laptop or computer when not in use. Regardless of whether employing your pc in your house as well as your organization computer at operate, you ought to never ever depart your computer running unattended for any duration of time without possessing some type of locking system in area. Most computer system operating programs these as Windows do have this attribute enabled for as you 1st get started up your laptop, even so frequently customers leave their computer working unattended which implies any individual can sit down and also have access to it. Thus it can be critical to possess one more layer of security to guard your confidential files when your pc procedure is really working. This means owning the two a superb password to lock you computer system from unauthorized access, in conjunction with different passwords to guard files you ought to maintain private. Use a mixture of letters and numbers, the two upper and reduced scenario letters for your greatest protection. Never use typical on a daily basis things like birthdays, kids or pet names, telephone numbers etc., as these are just also risky in case the computer hacker is aware of you personally.

Phase three: Disconnect

No computer system World-wide-web protection computer software or firewall method might be regarded as 100% secure under all circumstances, day right after day. With new forms of malware these as viruses becoming invented each day, there is certainly usually an opportunity, possibly rather slim, that your present pc protection may be breached. There exists a 100% alternative to on the web threats that is definitely not often deemed by most computer system consumers that is basically no cost and extremely straightforward to try and do. Merely disconnect your Online connect out of your modem when not employing your personal computer. This physical break inside the path from the World wide web into your laptop or computer will fix any type of on the web threat that presently exists.

Phase four: Onboard Security

It is awesome what number of personal computer customers these days nevertheless dismiss the will need for excellent excellent laptop protection from the kind of properly respected pc World wide web security software. Both there’re totally naive and feel the myth “it will certainly not occur to me” or they operate to the affordable, and figure the essential malware and spyware protection plus the firewall provided with their working method is very good adequate. Others will consider items one particular phase further more and download some cost-free Computer internet security application pondering that this really is as excellent since the paid out version. Hello? There’s a cause why it is actually free! You commonly get what you shell out, or don’t pay out for, concerning pc Web safety. This really is to not say the fundamental protection configurations of the running process and a few e-mail software programs, web browsers, and applications should be overlooked! These must be activated to add yet another level of safety for your computer system against exterior threats.

Step five: Get ready for that Unexpected

With many of the concern about hackers breaking into your computer system, physically or on the web, individuals normally forget about the much less sensational hazards to their laptop or computer program such as electrical power surges or spikes and hardware malfunction. Any of those can ruin or corrupt crucial files and in some cases make your onboard security ineffective. For that reason it is smart to utilize a very good superior ability surge protector that will guard towards unexpected spikes in electricity which could fry your personal computer components and damage your challenging generate that contains your data files. When you are genuinely worried about these types of dangers you will discover battery method backups that you just can use that could instantly guard versus electrical power surges as well as power outages and permit you to save info and shutdown your pc normally to prevent corrupting any files.

Step six: Backup Necessary Data

Anyone accustomed to computer systems commonly appreciates or has heard a minimum of a person story of an individual who misplaced all in an immediate when their computer’s very difficult drive out of the blue and without warning… CRASHED! For those who really don’t often backup essential information files made up of confidential personalized information or perhaps facts which has a sentimental benefit to you as well as your loved ones, then it is actually like playing a game of “Russian Roulette”. It truly is only a make any difference of time until finally this comes about as pc tricky drives are not designed to final permanently. Occasionally a great computer system techie can even now entry a failed hard generate and preserve the contents to a different tricky generate, and from time to time not. Can you find the money for to take this prospect? External very difficult drives or “zip drives” are extremely economical currently and may maintain big quantities of information, in most cases the whole contents of your difficult generate, and provide a straightforward answer likewise as “piece of mind” knowing that you have your vital info saved in one more put must your tough drive fall short. Just recall to backup on the standard basis! Dependent on the price of our data and how normally adjustments are created to it, you may have to backup month-to-month, weekly or even each day. There exists no time such as the current to get started on taking the mandatory ways to make a program of action to assist increase your pc Net security. Tomorrow may well be also late!

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