Share Your Experiences…with the World

A Southern Girl’s Reality

I know that most of these will have readers thinking a little about their behavior. These are based on my experiences growing up in the Heart of Dixie.
Lindsay Mulder

1. Fat kids are only cute if they belong to someone else.
2. Just because people don’t say that your children aren’t hideous doesn’t mean that they aren’t. Stop finding modeling agencies for your ugly kids.
3. A politician’s wife supports him. She knows she’ll live in infamy for being married to an alpha male.
4. You are only special to your family and friends.
5. A hundred years after your death, nobody will care that you existed.
6. Regardless of what they say, people don’t like hearing stories about your dog.
7. If you are a woman and you join a predominantly male company, don’t whine when they won’t include you in their conversations.
8. Women that file lawsuits because a man looked at them too long need to be fired for being too sensitive. Our husbands may work there. You make them uncomfortable.
9. If you go out in a short skirt, halter- top and high heels, you WILL be looked at. Stop whining.
10. If you don’t want to run the risk of being groped, think twice before heading out to a bar in the middle of the night and getting plastered (more…)

    Posted in Awkward Experiences, Funny Experiences, Life Experiences, Relationship Experiences | 2 Comments »

We All Fall Down

If only I knew then, what I know now life would be a lot different. Life might have been easier, decisions might not have been so hard. But thats the beauty of life. The unknown day that lies ahead of us. The simple fact is that, if we did know then what we know now, we would all be a bunch of smart ass’s. Life’s lessons, that only life can teach us, would never be learned. Thats why I am thankful that life didn’t give me the easy route. It chewed me up and spit me out. And for that, I will be forever grateful.

February 26 2003 9:00am

I was running late like a typical 17 year old. Life waited on me, I didn’t wait on life. It was that ignorant notion that got me into where I was going in the first place. “Not a care in the world” seemed to be my life motto at that typical time. I was nervous, I mean who wouldn’t be? Life would never throw me a bunch of cards I didn’t know how to play. Never. I was wrong. (more…)

Posted in Awkward Experiences, Life Experiences, Sad Experiences | 1 Comment »

P as in Poop

I must admit I have used the “mommy brain” excuse more than once in the past five years.  There are times that it truly feels as though my IQ has been halved with the birth of each of my three children.  So why does new research suggest that motherhood actually makes you smarter?  How could that be?  Do I just have a warped view of my former life or is it something altogether different?

My theory is that I have temporarily shut off the part of my brain that allows me to say intelligent things.   The capacity to think is still there.  I just have to use my brain for other purposes at this point.  One day, I will flip the switch and blossom into a GENIUS!

This temporary shut down became abundantly clear today when I made a complete ass of myself on the telephone.  We are looking into refinancing our home and the gentleman helping us out was attempting to give me his e-mail address.  I wasn’t sure if I heard him right, so naturally I read the address back to him…”m as in mom, p as in poop…”  I sh*t you not, I said “p as in poop” as if that was the association any normal human being would make.  Then I start laughing so hard I thought I was going to p as in pee.

I don’t know which is worse; the notion that this man believes that I am a moron or that he believes I am a complete nutjob.  If only I could shut off the part of the brain that cares about what other people think.

by Samantha Brill

Posted in Awkward Experiences, Funny Experiences | No Comments »

Bad Judgement

I think it was one of the most awkward moments of my life. He called, asked if we could hang out tonight, and i agreed, thinking it was going to be another nonchalant evening with one of my good friends. I was completely oblivious to his true plans until the moment his mom dropped us off alone at Applebee’s, and then she winked at you, and told us to “have fun.”

It was a complete set-up.

i have to admit my initial reaction was, ” Ohhhh No! ” Curse myself for not having common sense! I was on a date. Rummaging through my mind in panic, I was trying to think of every possible way i could have mislead him to believe i had any special feelings for him, or did something towards him inadvertently turning him on, or maybe I’d had misunderstood his intentions of the night in the first place.

So he got us a table and i could tell through his blundering ways of speaking he was nervous about the entire ordeal. To make matters worse, he made me guess who he liked, and he described every aspect of me down to the minute fact of how I laugh and then either clap my hands or smack something, making it easily distinguishable whom he were talking about.

Already i began foraging though my mind frantically searching for possible excuses that he might redeem satisfactory to my polite decline. I remember how in middle school, i prayed so forcefully for these “asking out” occasions to arise. Funny how one boy can screw that up for the rest of them. And then you dropped the bomb on me like you thought I had no idea and that excitement and jubilance would swell up from my soul. It didn’t quite work out like that, but I’m still in utter disbelief you would think i’d like you as more than friends. I told how i was sorry about the instant ‘No’ response. But geeze, it is not the way to a girl’s heart to manipulate her on a date!

I hope the night for him wasn’t a total calamity. Despite all that awkward moments, i did fancy hanging out with him, as friends.

Posted in Awkward Experiences, Female Experiences, Relationship Experiences | No Comments »